Words Of Comfort And Unerring Fear

The Age

Monday December 29, 2008

DAVID JAMES - David James is a senior writer for BRW magazine and author of The Business Devil's Dictionary.

NOT happy with your investment portfolio over this past year? Don't despair. You probably just haven't met the right annual compound returns yet. So never give up on love. Of money. There is a pile of cash out there waiting for you and if you truly, truly believe in it, then eventually it will all happen for you. Here are some words that people believe in, goodness knows why.

US

A country whose obsession with itself creates a peerless talent for making a mess everywhere else.

Fear

Whoever said "the only thing you have to fear is fear itself" obviously knew nothing about investment banking.

Tsar

Someone the US likes to appoint to get rid of the problems the US creates. So it has a drugs tsar, a tech tsar, a climate tsar, a car tsar and a copyright enforcement tsar. But where is the tsar tsar?

Economists

Overrated functionaries who are inaccurate without ever being slightly reliable.

Fund managers

Professionals whose primary concern is to fund themselves. If there is any left over for the clients, then that is good, too.

David James is a senior writer for BRW magazine and author of The Business Devil's Dictionary.

© 2008 The Age

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